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you could get a lot done in 97 minutes.

Make an elaborate dinner.

Shin Megami Tensei 5: Vengeance Demi-Fiend portrait

Very cool, video game, thank you

Do those chores you’ve been putting off.

Fritter away another irreplaceable sliver of your lifespan in your PvP game of choice.

At the time I had no idea that Nocturne was about to indirectly pummel me once again.

Shin Megami Tensei 5: Vengeance Demi-Fiend portrait

Very cool, video game, thank you

The other is Persona 5, via Persona 5 Royal.

But a questline in Vengeance kept gnawing at me after the credits rolled.

And it is, I’d decided, not worth the time.

Shin Megami Tensei V: Vengeance

I wasbornin Nocturne, molded by it.

Iwasthe Demi-Fiend for 130 miserable, amazing hours.

Am I really gonna run from this?

Shin Megami Tensei 5: Vengeance Demi-Fiend portrait

Yes, I decided.

At least at first.

But then, eventually, the Demi-Fiend’s taunts from hell pulled me back in.

Shin Megami Tensei 5: Vengeance Demi-Fiend portrait

Very cool, video game, thank you

OK, that was a fun rake to step on.

Love the taste of my own blood.

Am Ireallygonna do this?

Bloodborne�s Orphan of Kos boss stares at a clouded sun.

No, I decided.

At least at first.

But then, darn it all, I began to think.

Metaphor Re Fantazio

I must’ve done something wrong a reasonable thing to think, I think.

There’s no way that grinding alone could overcome that kind of damage ceiling.

This giga-wipehasto be preventable.

A screenshot from Metaphor: ReFantazio of Strohl�s awakening scene.

OK, that’s actually kind of cool.

I can probably do that.

Surely the fight won’t get 20 times harder.

Two nobles getting married in Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2

Vengeance

Reader, you’re not gonna believe this: it got 20 times harder.

The Demi-Fiend is what we in the business call some horseshit.

He summons infinite allies, for starters, albeit on a rotation that you’re able to exploit.

Henry and pal in a stockade in Kingdom Come Deliverance 2

Once per fight, he heals himself to full when you get him down to half HP.

He has a spammable AoE attack that forces you to keep physical nullification in your party at all times.

He has 60,000 HP, hits harder than an overdraft fee, and resists all damage types.

Assassin�s Creed Shadows and Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice

Baal stayed on-field the entire fight, and I rotated Amanozako in to cleanse the party.

This is how fantasy football fans sound, people.

What was my main character doing?

Clair Obscur: Expedition 33

My beautiful blue-haired son?

Finally, I could be on the kicking end of this butt-kicking.

My successful attempt was 97 minutes of uninterrupted, nail-biting, checkpoint-free, turn-based combat.

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When I saw the Demi-Fiend’s health enter the red I thought my controller would crinkle in my grip.

If I had thrown this run, my skeleton would’ve exited my flesh in outrage.

But I did it!

Dragon Quest 11

Did I then take the newly recruited Demi-Fiend into the fight with the game’srealsuperboss, Satan?

I have no beef with Satan, frankly, and that, reader, ain’t worth the time.

OurMetaphor: ReFantazio reviewgives it high marks for stellar art, storytelling, exploration, and social elements.

A screenshot of the upcoming PS5 game, Clair Obscur: Expedition 33.

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A screenshot from Clair Obscur: Expedition 33, showing a man named Verso covered in dirt and blood, looking into the camera.

GTA 6 trailer screenshots

Hayden Christensen as Anakin Skywalker in Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith

A screenshot from Super Mario Odyssey showing Mario throwing Cappy in New Donk City.

Mavix M7�s Elemax massage and heating backrest

Ritual Remnants appear in various rooms in The Horror at Highrook

Wyatt Russell, Sebastian Stan, Hannah John-Kamen and David Harbour in Thunderbolts

Articulate box, cards, board, and tokens on a wooden table

The cast of Thunderbolts standing in an elevator during the trailer for the upcoming Marvel Phase 5 movie.

Logan Kim as Hershel and Lauren Cohan as Maggie in The Walking Dead: Dead City season 2