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I’m writing to you from a place of defeat.

Two months ago, I had a more Arthurian take on life.

A screenshot shows Hello Kitty staring off into the distance.

Sanrio sent me PR mail in a suspiciously Xbox-sized box, but when I opened the lid, I only saw a Cinnamoroll Squishmallow with no bones.

Two decades after it was released, the hot pink machine recently sold forover $10,000 on eBay.

I’ve always wanted to be a part of something “impossible.”

“None of the staff have seen a Hello Kitty themed Xbox console.

Super Rare Hello Kitty Xbox Console!!! - YouTube

Sanrio sent me PR mail in a suspiciously Xbox-sized box, but when I opened the lid, I only saw a Cinnamoroll Squishmallow with no bones.

We wish you luck in your search though.”

CouldMicrosoftpoint me in the right direction, maybe?

“This is probably not a request we can support right now,” a representative told me.

A photo shows a gift box with a Cinnamoroll Squishmallow inside

Sanrio sent me PR mail in a suspiciously Xbox-sized box, but when I opened the lid, I only saw a Cinnamoroll Squishmallow with no bones.

OK, what about Sanrio?

Do princesses play pickleball in Central Park?

While I appreciated my new equipment for a healthy cardio sport, I started feeling dejected.

A screenshot of the announcement trailer for Hello Kitty island Adventure, with all the characters waving

My quest left me tumbling off my horse and my skirts all caked in mud.

The future of game preservation looks a little grim.

“I just want to play fun games,” Borman says.

A screenshot shows Lara Croft jumping in the air while shooting duel hand guns.

“I truly believe that everyone deserves a chance to play.”

Princesses buy the 1999limited edition Hello Kitty Dreamcaston eBay, right?

Hello Kitty Island Adventure is the latest example of how cozy games are secretly pretty dark at their core.

Infinity Nikki

A painting shows a woman sleeping as a demon with three eyes bites her chest.

Photo taken by writer Rosalie Newcombe of the CRKD Atomic Purple ATOM bluetooth controller.

Sneaking behind a guard at night in Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2

Borderlands 4 vault hunter characters standing

Oblivion Remastered at night

Oblivion Remastered

a halo screenshot put on a nintendo switch 2 screen

Hollow Knight: Silksong

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Lego Mario Kart, Endgame Final Battle, Jango Fett�s Firespray-Class Ship, and Chopper divided by white lines, with a �GamesRadar+ new Lego� badge in the middle

Indiana Jones and the Great Circle screenshot of Indiana dressed as priest, looking over a book

Days Gone Remastered protagonist Deacon running from hundreds of zombies in the rain

PS5 Pro reveal from trailer

The cast of Thunderbolts standing in an elevator during the trailer for the upcoming Marvel Phase 5 movie.

Articulate box, cards, board, and tokens on a wooden table

Logan Kim as Hershel and Lauren Cohan as Maggie in The Walking Dead: Dead City season 2